clara "why are you booing me i'm right" oswald (
makemeasong) wrote in
eastbound2022-11-03 05:55 pm
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
audio { un: hide-and-seek }
[ Clara isn't sure how long it is before she feels capable of having a conversation, one where she's able to coherently explain her interaction with the Child. She's been sitting with her thoughts, turning over every level in her mind, all the things she saw and felt. By the time the Doctor had found her on Level Three, she'd already been through enough to hide in a dark room, uncharacteristically unsure of what to do. They'd wound up getting to the top of the tower together, he'd seen her through the sickness, but he'd gone back for others. That had left her alone to talk with the Child when he appeared without a sound by her side. Now, it's time to share what she's learned.
She may be feeling up to conversation, but not enough for video, and after this, only enough to text. When she begins, her voice is already hoarse, rough around the edges. ]
Right, jumping straight to it this time 'round. I had an interesting conversation with the Child. The kid in the fox mask. He said some things I'm sharing so we can talk them out or whatever we need to do. This may be a coincidence since I dunno know what the tower was or wasn't manipulating at that point, but anytime he stood with his umbrella over me, I felt better, less like I was sick. I also still have it, the umbrella. He left it.
[ She'd tried to give it back to him, and he'd let her have it without saying anything about it. ]
Alright, I'll get to it because we're all exhausted. The conversation started when he told me I 'wouldn't like what I see' and followed that hit up with 'seeing the undead isn't the same as knowing what's happening.' I guess he knows about the dragon eyes and what they do. I asked him who could help us know what we need to understand the rest, but his only suggestion was to ask his parents. He mentioned his father knows everything. Lots of kids think that, though.
Third fact of fun: fox-face told me his father could help anyone except me. And I dunno if he meant me specifically or all of us? Because he finished that bit up by saying he—as in himself—'made things sick' but didn't mean to and he's sorry. The kid also referred to a 'him' and 'he' a lot. Mentioned if 'he' were here, 'he' would know why we were sick. I'm assuming the father is the same 'him,' but it was never clear. Could be two totally separate beings.
[ But here's where things get even more interesting. ]
Next, kid says he was in Serthica after a ship dropped him off to play with the dragons. He seemed pretty excited about the idea that said dragons were big enough to eat 'him.' Still dunno if that's different from dad.
[ Now for the real dick move: ]
The Child said he was playing with me, with us. I think I guilted him into admitting we're his toys, just playthings. The dollhouse built just for him with us as the living dolls. Then he was gone. Not before saying he was glad to have us as toys.
[ Clara rubs a hand over her face, sighing audibly. ]
Other fine details include: he doesn't know how to keep us from getting sick, he doesn't understand why we get sick or how to stop us from dying (so he claims), and he blamed me or...us, I guess, for coming to a place where the sickness is. He insisted he was a good kid who only came to play with dragons.
[ By the time she's done, she's satisfied she hasn't missed anything — hopes so at least. ]
That's all I know. Or at least it's all I can remember. Was a long day, but I don't have to tell you lot that. Hopefully, this helps with something.
She may be feeling up to conversation, but not enough for video, and after this, only enough to text. When she begins, her voice is already hoarse, rough around the edges. ]
Right, jumping straight to it this time 'round. I had an interesting conversation with the Child. The kid in the fox mask. He said some things I'm sharing so we can talk them out or whatever we need to do. This may be a coincidence since I dunno know what the tower was or wasn't manipulating at that point, but anytime he stood with his umbrella over me, I felt better, less like I was sick. I also still have it, the umbrella. He left it.
[ She'd tried to give it back to him, and he'd let her have it without saying anything about it. ]
Alright, I'll get to it because we're all exhausted. The conversation started when he told me I 'wouldn't like what I see' and followed that hit up with 'seeing the undead isn't the same as knowing what's happening.' I guess he knows about the dragon eyes and what they do. I asked him who could help us know what we need to understand the rest, but his only suggestion was to ask his parents. He mentioned his father knows everything. Lots of kids think that, though.
Third fact of fun: fox-face told me his father could help anyone except me. And I dunno if he meant me specifically or all of us? Because he finished that bit up by saying he—as in himself—'made things sick' but didn't mean to and he's sorry. The kid also referred to a 'him' and 'he' a lot. Mentioned if 'he' were here, 'he' would know why we were sick. I'm assuming the father is the same 'him,' but it was never clear. Could be two totally separate beings.
[ But here's where things get even more interesting. ]
Next, kid says he was in Serthica after a ship dropped him off to play with the dragons. He seemed pretty excited about the idea that said dragons were big enough to eat 'him.' Still dunno if that's different from dad.
[ Now for the real dick move: ]
The Child said he was playing with me, with us. I think I guilted him into admitting we're his toys, just playthings. The dollhouse built just for him with us as the living dolls. Then he was gone. Not before saying he was glad to have us as toys.
[ Clara rubs a hand over her face, sighing audibly. ]
Other fine details include: he doesn't know how to keep us from getting sick, he doesn't understand why we get sick or how to stop us from dying (so he claims), and he blamed me or...us, I guess, for coming to a place where the sickness is. He insisted he was a good kid who only came to play with dragons.
[ By the time she's done, she's satisfied she hasn't missed anything — hopes so at least. ]
That's all I know. Or at least it's all I can remember. Was a long day, but I don't have to tell you lot that. Hopefully, this helps with something.
no subject
[ The response comes automatically. ] But I thought it was a definite message. No more adventures with him, I thought he was moving away from me for good.
[ Putting the distance between them, pushing her away, exactly as River described. ]
He isn't? [ It's unfair to ask, Clara isn't supposed to know the future and River's the last person she wants to put in that position. But her words made it feel obvious, the verbal answer simply confirmation. ]
no subject
No, Sweetie. He just needs a little time.
[ Not that that isn't a lot to ask, but given the circumstances... ]
You're going to be so important to him, Clara. You know I can't tell you more than that.
But I know the Doctor better than anyone, and that face best of all. I can promise you he'll come around.
no subject
He's so...Scottish now. I've never met an angrier, more put-upon walking stereotype in my entire life.
[ There's hope if she can make observations like that. ]
It was whiplash. No more touch, no smiles, no anything that felt like him. Just distance. I was afraid giving him that would make it permanent. Maybe by not, I was making it worse.
[ At least now, if they ever leave this place, she can readjust her expectations. It'll get better. And with that thought, she can somewhat focus again on the present. ]
Did you go in together? To the tower, I mean.
no subject
I'm sorry to say that mostly doesn't change. But he has his own kind of warmth.
[ And there's a softness in her voice that suggests he'd made her happy, at least for the time they'd had together. ]
We went in separately, but we found each other inside. Convinced a rather large, unhappy fellow water was wine. Goes by the name of Fred, throws a terrible party. I don't suppose you met him?
[ She actually rather hadn't minded that part of the experience. ]
no subject
[ Clara rubs at the back of her neck, raising her head again and stretching her legs out in front of her. ]
How long did it take to convince Fred of the wine? The Doctor could probably sell ice to Eskimos if he really tried.
no subject
[ That damn lift must have stopped on every floor. But to answer her question, ]
It probably wouldn't have taken any time at all if we'd have just gotten on with it. But you know, we thought we might have a chat first. He wasn't very talkative, unfortunately. Rather keen on trying to smash things at his...well, I was going to say feet, but I guess it was his torso, really.
Never ever ask the Doctor to talk about wine.
no subject
I once asked him about ale. He went all the way back to the BC era of Earth. Sometimes I just let him go on because it helps me fall asleep.
[ She says that with fondness, warmth in her voice. But that's followed with a soft sigh. ]
He calls me the impossible one, but I think I'll have to double down on bein' bossy now I've got two of you who love to pretend like you shouldn't matter to anyone.
no subject
[ But there's fondness underlying her annoyance, turning what might otherwise have been an insult into something else. ]
He goes on and on, but it's just talking.
[ Much like she's doing now, avoiding the way Clara's called her out, called them both out. ]
But we had it perfectly handled. You don't actually think I'd let him meet his end under the fist of some would-be skeleton prince?
[ Never mind the fact he'd saved her first. ]
no subject
[ She's getting huffy but in a way that makes her smile just a little, rolling her eyes. ]
You two are a good duo, I can't argue. Think we'll ever have a chance to breathe and sit down, the three of us?
no subject
Oh, I imagine. Sooner or later. [ The briefest pause. ] Then again... I'm not sure the Doctor and I ever managed a quiet night until Darillium.
no subject
And that time, it was with his angry eyebrows on board?
[ She's trying to feel more at ease about him, about this change in the Doctor. Still him underneath the bluster and gruffness. Certainly, River is doing that for her, and it's a little bit easier for her words to be lighter. ]
no subject
[ It's just two words, but they're filled with the calm and love and certainty he'd always made her feel. In that all-too-short time, she'd finally known what she meant to him. ]
He's softer than he seems. I could never convince him to stop running when he wore this face; he never really let me in. But once he gets a bit older, he'll give me that time without my having to ask.
no subject
With age comes wisdom, or something along those lines, I've heard. It's good to know that, honestly.
[ She bites at her bottom lip. How long does it take, she wonders? ]
I haven't given him enough time; I was slow to wrap my mind around all of it. I didn't know what to do or how to help him, then he ran, so that was brilliant. But when he makes his way to you? I'm guessing any residual unnecessary attitude won't last long.
[ There's a soft laugh in her voice, imagining any version of him trying to talk back to River.
It's the first time Clara's realized if the Doctor settles down, there's a time she isn't traveling with him. But she doesn't want to know, and she would never—could never—ask River to give her any details. Everyone's time with the Doctor ends, one way or another. ]
no subject
[ It feels good to laugh, especially at the Doctor's expense. ]
But I guess he's learned a thing or two.
We had our ups and downs. Of course we did. But when he finally caught up to me that last time, I think, maybe for the first time, he was ready to stop running.
[ Maybe only because they'd both known it was temporary. Or maybe because he really did just want to make her happy. Even now, his motivations aren't always clear to her. They both guard their emotions too closely, tell themselves too many lies. ]
I've known him so long, Clara, all his faces. He doesn't remember, mostly, but I never forgot. They're all different. Some of them haven't been keen on me at all, and others liked me very well. [ She's definitely smiling. ] But I can't help but love him, no matter where we are or which one turns up.
I understand how hard it can be, when he isn't the man you know, when he isn't the man who knows you. Still, I've never been able to see him any differently.
[ She sympathizes, and she wants to help Clara make her own peace with it. But it's hard for her, even now, to see it from a more typically human point of view. ]
no subject
I think it's beginning to make sense in my mind. But the man could've taken a half-second to let me know how disoriented he would be. Imagine my surprise when he starts rambling about the color of his kidneys. [ There's a slight pause. ] He didn't like the color. Allegedly.
[ He's so ridiculous. But it's part of his charm. ]
I'll be easier on him, when I go back.
no subject
Oh, well, I never cared much about my kidneys, but you should have heard me go on about my teeth. And the hair!
Of course I've never had anything to complain about. But the Doctor...it's a game of chance every time, and he always finds something.
no subject
[ Clara likes River, very much, and it's a relief to be able to talk about things she otherwise couldn't. Not just because she's from the Doctor's future, but because they both know him. ]
He did mention he wasn't a ginger yet. I'm sensing that's something he's always wanted?
no subject
[ Modesty? She's probably heard of it in passing. ]
He's been going on about that, oh, for at least the last few faces. [ Then she laughs. ] I wish I could tell you why, but sometimes his mind is still a mystery, even to me.
no subject
If you don't understand it, then there's no hope for the rest of us.
[ There's a slight pause before she continues. ]
We should have a proper conversation. Not now, I think I need to sleep for about a week. But soon.
no subject
[ She'd like that, she thinks. It's rare she's had the opportunity to have an honest conversation, about who she is, who she is to the Doctor, the life she's lived. ]
When we've had that chance to breathe. Maybe over tea. Or something stronger.
no subject
[ There's another soft laugh on her end, and it sounds tired instead of tense. Their talk has helped, and she thinks maybe she could turn off her mind for a bit. ]
For now, I'm gonna guess you need as much rest as I do. Try to get some, before we're dragged into the next situation.